furibund | abraxas inbox;

abraxas inbox;

text ✦ horizon ✦ action ✦ overflow
solvunn ✦ death

She had learned long ago it was always easier to throw a grenade and walk away without looking back to see the blast and the blood and the wreckage she left in her wake. She had chewed her way through the guts of this galaxy and never once turned to witness the smoldering remains. It was the only way she ever managed to keep walking. She always had a job—and the results of it were someone else’s. That was how the universe moved.

But she had made a mistake. She had turned around. She had lingered too long and now it was swallowing her, that stupid sentiment that would someday get her killed, accompanied by the relief that always came with sinking into her nature like it was soft snow.

— Mackenzie Lee, Gamora and Nebula

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[In the weeks following this post, Nebula will receive an embroidered badge, designating them part of Aloy’s monster hunting crew. There doesn’t seem to be anything special about it—it can be sewn anywhere the wearer likes, and appears to have been stitched with a practiced hand.

If the wearer is incapacitated, a spell woven into the threads by Haelva will activate, allowing the user to send an emergency message to another member of the group—use it wisely.]

Hello! This is your not-so-regularly scheduled check-in. So-called because I don't have a plan for the cadence of it, really, so you'll just get a Doctor surprise when you least expect.

[ — or not. Good, bad, or horrifying news. Could go anyway at all and given everything that happened, well, he really can't be sure whether the prospect of him regularly checking in is dreadful or appreciated. ]

You alright?

[ Nebula has a very short list of people she'd answer messages in this form from. Or bother to read, period, if she can help it. She also has a very short list of people she'd accept such messages from — most quickly discarded. There's an even shorter list of people she'd expect a message like this from. ]

[ Somehow the Doctor manages to be on all of those lists. Somehow, even with everything that just transpired, this is very on par for their relationship. It's perhaps why there is no time wasted in a message relayed back as quick and sharp as to be expected: ]

Am I supposed to be not alright?

I only wondered, though I wouldn't say you're supposed to be anything at all but you. And however you do happen to be and feel — good, bad, indifferent, nothing at all — that's all perfectly fine.

[ Not that she needs him validating that, he well realizes. ]

[ In truth, she doesn't know how to feel. It's a complex well of emotions she doesn't have the capacity to navigate. "Living" all that time and then being thrust into who you were in the present it's - perhaps, for her, being two different people at once and who you started as still wins out. ]

[ Which in this case, truly meant she doesn't have the capacity to understand herself. ]

Sounds more to me like you don't know how you're feeling.

[ The response is immediate, cutting around her own thoughts entirely and ending with a somehow punctuated delivery of: ]

Is that the case?

Edited 2024-05-19 20:43 (UTC)

How I'm feeling is often proportional to how everyone around me is feeling, which in this case is complex and fluid. Though not the fun sort of fluid-ish blob, like custard for example.

[ Which, perhaps, is answer enough. He could avoid for a long while. ]

I'm peachy keen, as the kids say. Somewhere.

[ Or rather, he's a bit like a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle, with about half of the puzzle put together. ]

I do this thing called worrying. Haven't ever quite rid myself of it. It applies to everyone I care about.

How are you as frustrating to speak to in this manner as you are face-to-face?

[ Pot calling the kettle, since she doesn't have to respond with her immediate thought there. It's the point she wants to make, so maybe it's not all that strange. ]

[ "You can try being more concise," is the thought that doesn't get said but is implied. ]

[ She doesn't even question if he cares about her. Not because she doesn't think it strange - she does, forever, and doesn't think he should - but because she knows he will say he does. ]

Try worrying about yourself more. I'm not going to bemoan whatever situation I've found myself in. No point to it.

Edited 2024-05-19 21:43 (UTC)

[ Though his persistence in carrying on like he does might indicate otherwise, he's at least aware that he's sometimes infuriating to talk to. Or at least, so others have said. Infuriating, strange, too much. ]

Okay. Fine. No bemoaning. What about just a single thought, any thought at all? Any that you care to or want to share?

No.

[ For a moment, maybe that's all she's sending. "No," end of discussion. She hasn't thought about it - tries not to. That person isn't her, even if all the memories remain. She has no feelings - no, that's not it. ]

Don't start thinking I can be that person.

What person do you think I want you to be?

[ He's not purposefully trying to make this difficult, but he probably is by his very nature. :c ]

You know exactly what I mean.

I only want you to be you. And the you that you are is someone I care about. But I don't think you believe me either way. Or maybe I'm wrong! Admittedly it's rare, but it wouldn't be the first time. The being wrong part, not the caring part, I mean.

[ He's an idiot, that's a universal truth. ]

[ She cannot express her ugh any more than the long pause between responses. Some part of her still thinks he's lying to her in that not so genuine way of someone claiming to care about everyone. She's seen more of him, though, and some part of her finds him important. The part that latched onto the idea of someone seeing her withstanding. ]

[ Still, she can't just say that, right? Not with all those fake memories jumbling things up especially? ]

I know you care, you bumbling moron.

[ Those long years in that false reality — there was a lot in there he wasn't proud of, but there were good things, too. And the time spent knowing her better, getting closer to her, it was important to him. Though, he won't use those memories as some sort of assumption that they ought to be best friends suddenly. ]

Oh, good, I've got that right, at least! And still upholding my reputation as an idiot, good to know that hasn't changed. You wouldn't be the first to say it.

I won't keep you, I only wanted to check on you. I hope we can see each other again soon in Nocwich! I'll smuggle in a sample of some Jammie Dodgers for you to try, I've been perfecting them.

I won't be the last either. You'll make sure of that.

[ In one way or another, she thinks, by being himself or being so insistent. Not that she's starting to think the insistency is a bad thing... But she frowns. Shouldn't it be she that's worried about him? He's sounding fine enough, but something in her tells her he isn't. ]

What the hell is a Jammie Dodger?

... You can contact me whenever you want this way. I'll make sure to answer.

[ Even if it is just one word. Which it might be, from time-to-time. ]

Jammie Dodger! Delightful thing! Traditionally a biscuit made from shortcake, with fruity berry filling. I've done my best approximation of it here, obviously lacking a few things. I'll bring some 'round the next time we meet!

And ditto to you, Nebula. I'll always be here.

[ Whether that's meaningful to her or not, or perhaps just an annoyance, he will be here. And he'll check on her again. ]

[ The dice has betrayed Nebula's eternal attempt at feigning disinterest- Which is to say... She doesn't immediately respond. In fact, it's several hours later of stewing on the matter before she does.]

[ For someone who's childhood was starvation as both a lesson and reward... She spent a portion of it going any food was better than no food. She has started to stop to appreciate the food and beverages she's received, but she's never really gone out of her way to try different things. Whatever was available was fine... Which, she practically insulted Himeka's love of food for. It's the other woman's insistence on her trying new foods and learning what she likes that she thinks about - flusters over - and wherein she otherwise would have ignored the suggestion does come back to it:]

I'll look forward to it.

[ That's all she says but the sincerity is there. ]

Edited 2024-07-05 05:36 (UTC)

Hey sister
Just wanted to check in, make sure you're doing okay
I know Solvunn got a little weird
You hangin in there?

[ The message is... unexpected. It's also somehow expected and she doesn't like that. She has a tendency to write off messages with a quick 'yes', 'no', or 'shut up' not particularly preferring this kind of contact. She has began to accept it as necessary and now... ]

[ ... She chooses to respond. ]

Solvunn is always a "little weird".

[ The quotation marks are necessary to give her dryness, she thinks. ]

I've not murdered their entire goat population.
I'd say I'm doing fine.

Weren't you the ones dealing with a plague?
Why contact me?

[ Read: Shouldn't you be taking care of yourself? Or maybe Glad you're not dead. ]

Yeah, well. Turns out most of us are immune to the plague, so. You know.

( Bad for the locals. Could be worse for the Summoned. )

Sometimes people just like to check in and make sure other people they know are okay.

Lucky you.

[ Perhaps it might otherwise be sarcasm, but it's not. Probably. It's still take an embarrassingly long time to gumption up an answer.]

I'm aware.

[ But outside of Gamora no one's ever really reached out to her on a personal level in that manner before now. ]

Are you guys out of there then?

Yeah
We're all good
I'm guessing you are too, so
I'll see you in the Horizon
Swing by the bar sometime
I still need to teach you how to play Knife Chess

[ This is clearly a dismissal of some kind (so she says) and she could take it. At another time, she might. Instead she asks: ]

The hell's knife chess?

So, how are you feeling?

Still homicidal or has the urge passed?

[ She almost chooses not to answer. To turn off this form of communication before hearing him. He's definitely the type that wants the last word and currently she thinks it's meaningless. So instead she asks: ]

Still feel like asking stupid questions?

What do you want?

Edited 2024-09-29 20:53 (UTC)

Is 'to make sure you're okay' a bad answer?

Not saying you can't take care of yourself. Just seeing if a friend wanted to go for a walk in the woods.

In case you didn't get it, you're that friend.

[ "To make sure you're okay," is something she's heard. Too many people here are interested in that ??? She doesn't get it. Just like she doesn't get the rest of this, but she won't say that. ]

I keep busy.

Since when were we friends?

[ He doesn't know it, but it's from a real place of confusion and NOT a dry remark because ???? She has no idea when people decide they're friends or Why ]

Edited 2024-09-30 02:25 (UTC)

Since I took you off mute a few days ago.

Did you want to go back to threatening to gut me instead?

Turn it back off.

Like I said: Gonna keep asking stupid questions?

Nope. Keeping it on.

Look, do you want to go guy some things in the woods with me or not?

In case it wasn't obvious, the thing you are gutting is not me.

Damn. Here I was sharpening my sword.

[ A "Nebula is typing," cinematic and then - ]

It might amaze you to do know I don't kill creatures unless they deserve it.

[ These days. Pointed. He totally deserved the threat, but - ]

What is it you're looking for?

[So was now the time to point out that he totally killed creatures that might or might not deserve it? So, he got where Nebula had been coming from. Rude still? Yeah, but he got it]

Pretty much anything. I got sucked in here without a lot of magical supplies so I need anything and everything. Herbs, roots, monster guts. Pig hooves if anyone's not like, stewing them.

You seem like interesting company.

This place is full of them, you shouldn't have any trouble.

[ A good thing her annoyed, "not like I can find things to repair my body as easily," can't come through. ]

[ Though there's that weird thing about people around here going "you seem fine," that makes her want to laugh. She doesn't. ]

Bet you say that to everyone.

So does that mean you don't want to go skipping through the woods with me?

Minus the skipping?

Minus the skipping.

[ ugggh ]

I can make sure you don't get yourself killed.

You have such confidence in my abilities.

Gee thanks.

You haven't exactly shown aptitude for the wild.

Okay so the woods are a little different than wandering around the Underworld.

Friend ≠ Babysitter

I'm still trying to figure out how you came to friends.

[Chris came to 'friends' the same way he came to it with his underworld contacts. Sheer persistence, stubbornness, manipulation and trade. Thankfully only the first two applied to the situation with Nebula.]

What you don't want to be friends?

I'm hurt.

Edited 2024-10-04 02:22 (UTC)

[ Chris is in luck that the dice are nice to him. ]

I didn't say that.

If you're hurt that easily you need to toughen up. I'm not "friendly".

I guess sarcasm doesn't come across in brain text.

That was sarcasm? Could've fooled me.

[ She only 50% decided it was sarcasm, the rest just sounded like what she knew of him so! is this sarcasm or biting teasing??? who knows ]

When are you going to figure out that you don't scare me?

But sure, keep trying with that tough act.

[Okay that was a lie, you in fact did scare him Nebula, quite a lot.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

abraxas inbox;

no subject

— few days post event #18

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

sometime toward the end of event 19

no subject

no subject

sorry this is late

im even later therefor i win

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject