COMMUNION
Communion with Nebula is as much an oxymoron as she sometimes is. It's the feeling of soft snow, gentle and embracing with its touch. A snow that feels too easy to fall into, like one's own nature. In the opposite extreme there's a fire that's searing to the touch - a constant thrum of anger. In this space, it encompasses all of it, though it's embers now. Embers that are quick to catch and burn and die again. For those who see into it enough it's in moments when she's angry - but most notable when she feels weak, when she struggles, when she worries.
This burning sensation fights ever with the cool nature of the snow. As if the anger isn't nature here and the fire is becoming more malleable in its embrace. Ever lingering, but faltering under the softness of that snow -
The snow is ever gentle and embracing, but lacks the cold (it is warm, it is self). But there is something that twists and coils in the sensation that is cold and empty. Something not alive is ever present, silent and moving, but is overwhelmed by the rest. It is not focus nor is it the all of here, but a moving part.
When Nebula speaks here it lacks the husky, mechanical sound her voice does in person. It's softer, but not warmer. It's just as conflicted and in this voice you know that this realm, in her mind, is the place she finds most comfort. Is the place she's far more willing to be herself than anywhere else: It's freedom. But the rage can burn up quickly, taking flight into sky-covered landscape. It feels like anger is the quickest thing to cling to and accept and even in this shared space any other (positive) emotions are in conflict of understanding.
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[ He hasn't heard that name in some time, but it is a name he has a passing familiarity with. ]
I knew a Gamora. She was here during the Iconoclast Oracle, and gone too soon despite her strength of will.
[ The rest, though... yeah, it reminds him a lot of him and his sister, as well. Isis and he had been inseparable once; best friends, trusted confidants. They were the most alike out of their quartet of siblings, hot-headed and passionate, sensitive and capable of the most destructive of feats without hesitation or mercy. Her husband had hurt him, and instead of looking upon him with sympathy ( or even pity, he was so desperate as to accept pity at that point — ), she blamed him. As if he was a common harlot.
So, he'd hunted her for millennia, and ripped apart every woman he came in contact with! Because every one of them reminded him of her in some way, and she needed to be punished for abandoning him. 8) 8( ]
Nebula, you... [ Another individual might apologize here, might tell her that she didn't deserve the pain she went through; the depersonalization and dissociation that she experiences echoes faintly within him, like an old numbness that he's now forgotten even exists. ( His body is a weapon, however he has to use it. Every inch of him designed for battles, to be used and wielded. Not for him, never for him. The only time it was ever his was when he held his wife, his son. And they were never truly his, he came to find out. )
"You are not made for this." Ah, and only if that were true.
The experience of a god ( for belief in him aside, he was one — ) was so different, especially Set's. Unborn, made in the image of rivalry and evil, wickedness and disorder, he struggled with a sensitive heart and a sweetness unbecoming of something so terrible, something made to give reason and shape to other things. The redheaded stepchild of the universe.
In Communion, he releases the sands. Blows them away to the ends of his mind so that they do not catch in her limbs and grind harshly at her, leaving instead the stillness of a dark, empty plane that ripples as if the surface of the water. ]
I will try to make a choice that helps us all. [ Not a good one, or the right one, just the one that does the most for Meridian and his allies. That helps them get home. ] I could use your advice, if you want to look over the weapon's design.
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[ She hisses the word out. Nebula is not a calm person. She is eternally filled with rage, pain, and self-hatred. The softness of snow clutches and curls, like a lost child trying to remember how to walk-to run in the direction it needs. Her temperment is harsh and rarely falters and yet... The surprise is prominent, inescapable. The expectation palpable. ]
[ Logic reasons that there must be other Gamoras in the universe, not hers. Something more fragile: belief, hope, a sardonic understanding of her life - their lives - tells her there is no misunderstanding. If there is Nebula, there is Gamora. Always first, like the lightning. And then there was Nebula, just as powerful a few seconds behind. Always behind. It as much a fact as there are stars in the sky, no matter where or when, Nebula will always be second to Gamora. An escapable feeling, though now it is no longer fueled with anger. For Set, to Set, the emotions escape in cascades with the image of green skin, dark hair tied red, and a promise: You will always be my sister. ]
[ In person, outside of communion, she swallows hard and does the mental equivalent of slamming the lid shut on a trash can. It does her no good. Gamora is not here. None of it. Dwelling on what is and isn't has never helped. The only thing that will is ending all of this - returning home. To where she could finally, truly be free. ]
[ She does not say it. She deftly ignores his exclamation 'Nebula, you-' and perhaps somehow she didn't hear it, despite the intimacy of this place. A flame shoots up and dies out, the impression of a flared nostril, the hint she has. She scowls, deep and low: ]
We will all make a choice.
[ They have all already made a choice, but she doubts how far some of them would go for it. (She dares not doubt how far she will go). She tries to force down her thoughts and expressions, become the steel and machinery that make up her being. Pinpoint all of it down and so she asks: ] What are you looking at?